A Treatise on "Sources of Self-Esteem in Namibia" subtitled "Sera
Plays God"
5 August 2004
"Oftentimes a volunteer in a foreign country can become overwhelmed
with feelings of incompetence. This can be a result of cultural blunders, the
complete lack of foreign friends, or learners that don't seem to learn, making
the volunteer feel inept at teaching. To counter these feeling of low
self-esteem, an innovative volunteer can engage in certain activities that will
surely uplift the spirit such as giving spelling tests and owning
chickens."
I
gave the first spelling test of my English-teacher career last week. I should
have thought of this much sooner. The learners were rapt in concentration as the
words tumbled from my mouth on high. Before each new proclamation, they cocked
their heads sideways, pencils poised above their paper, waiting for the next
word to spell. "Squalor" I would declare, and in unison they would
bend over their papers and put the divine word into writing. Albeit, some
syllables or consonants were lost or transposed, but I doubt Moses on Mt. Sinai
put more effort into transcribing the words of his teacher.
In addition to spelling tests, chicken ownership is another good confidence
booster. There is
nothing more gratifying than coming home from a hard day's teaching and being
besieged by mid-sized, ratty chickens running from every yard. I l
ike to toy
with them, just to demonstrate my supreme power over their food supply. I slowly
walk to the door, slowly turn the key and unlock it. Then, misunderstanding
their eagerness, I bring out the water jug and poor a bit into their empty water
bowl, rinse the sand out, and fill it up to the brim. Next, followed by the
insatiate chickens, I go back into the house and wait a minute or two, seemingly
confused by their dissatisfaction with the water. Finally, I fill up an empty
peanut butter jar with corn and pour it over them, like manna from heaven.
And to work through those occasional bad moods, I can just bully our obese
rooster. He likes to stand right next to the door and let out a big
COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOOOO, so that it echoes all through the house (his version of
singing in the shower, I guess). Then, to his surprise, Zeus hurls a thunderbolt
at him, and he has to waddle off on his chubby thighs before he gets pummeled
with the empty peanut butter jar (it's plastic).
Of
our 14 pre-pubescent chicks, 2 of them are all white. Luckily, one is a rooster
and one is a hen. So I'm thinking of starting a chicken eugenics program and
breeding all white chickens. The motley ones are dinner.
Love Sera
